I'm SO bored!

My nieces aged 15 and 10 are due to visit me for a week this June, and my parents are planning to accompany them. In one word, to me their trip spells chaos! Each of them has a very different personality, different wake and sleep cycles, different food preferences. My Mother's biggest worry however, is planning enough activities so the kids don't get bored. I don't have children of my own, so my nieces will not have ready-made playmates. Irrespective of what I plan for the week, there will be pockets of time where they will not have anything to do. And with every adult being in a different life stage, this absolute dread of what will happen if every minute of the trip is not accounted for, is reasonable. Long faces, whiny voices, and the accompanying dramatic draping over furniture is funny for only so long. We all know the usual fall back of screen-time isn't great. So...what then?

We have grown to be so uncomfortable at the thought of boredom. We ourselves as adults, find it hard to sit in a vehicle for two minutes without pulling our phones out. This constant need to be passively entertained is something that has come about with the advent of the smart phone and smaller and smaller potable devices. If you think back on the content you have consumed on your commute or a lazy afternoon, you'd probably draw a blank - because it wasn't that great anyway! So, what are we missing out on? Are there merits to boredom? Research says - yes.

Boredom & Creativity. When the mind does not find neural stimulation from the outside, it creates it for itself. By allowing the mind to wander and daydream, we allow the mind to have "a-ha" moments. I know a lot of people who've come up with their best ideas sitting on the pot, or in the shower!! Not funneled into a specific thought pattern, the mind can find its way into unchartered, sometimes, brilliant

territory. For children, boredom often leads to creative play - coming up with places, situations, themes, roles which develop a child’s language and social skills as well as attention, concentration, and problem-solving skills.

Boredom & Downtime. With both adults and children having jam-packed schedules, boredom can be a stress-reliever. It allows the mind to detox and rest, as well as process important information. Slowing down and taking a break is essential for everyone's mental health.

Boredom & Self-Reflection. When we are bored, we are forced to look at ourselves. In fact, a lot of times, the reason we want don't want to be bored is to be distracted from reality. Ask yourself what you are afraid to uncover. What will actually happen if you are not "busy". When we are bored, we are forced to sit with who we are and what is going on with our lives in the present. We may discover things about ourselves we never knew. We may find new hobbies, new ideas we didn't give room for. And most importantly, we may actually start enjoying our own company. This works equally with children, especially if they don't have anyone to play with. They may discover things they like to do by themselves. Start to know who they are a little more.

Boredom & Social Connection. Have you ever been bored around someone you love? What does that lead to? Do you start asking each other questions like "What would you do if you had all the money in the world?" Do you pull out a deck of cards? Or reminisce? Do you put your shoes on and go for a walk? Boredom can lead to increased social connection and bonding. Children miraculously stop squabbling and cooperate in the most bizarre games.

How to be Bored. If you have never allowed yourself time to be bored, start small. Standing in a line, stop yourself from looking at the phone. Schedule a couple of hours with the children on a weekend where there is no structure (or screens). You may need to initially give them some suggestions or ideas as to what they may do. But beyond that, let them be. Let yourself be. Allow yourselves the opportunity to look at the fact that "there’s nothing to do” with relief and joy rather than dread and anxiety. I'm going to do the same!

Love and light, Prasi.